I’m going to share a story from a couple years ago that pretty much sums up my life and how things usually unfold. This is a long read so get a cup of coffee or whiskey or whatever your vice is and enjoy……..
DADDY CAN YOU BRING ME A HORSE
This is a true story of a road trip that did not go as planned. To preface, daughter in college several states away. After 2 years without a horse we agree to bring her a horse (one of my all time favorite horses), hence the reason we even embarked on this trip. To make sure we are safe for a trip of this length, I take the truck into a shop for a safety check. I did this because I think I’m a smart person. After work on truck to the tune of $2500, we believe we are road ready. I should have known better. Following is a daily account of our trip.
Day 1 – Leave on time, no issues. We have 3 horses and 4 dogs with us.
Day 2 – Arrive at daughters in the evening, no issues.
Day 3 – No issues, haul hay for horse in 95 degrees handling a total of about 18 ton between moving and re-stacking. Hot and tired we go to dinner that evening with daughter, her friend and daughter’s boyfriend. We go to Denny’s for dinner. We are seated and our waiter’s name is Ben. Ben is a nice kid who at least is working and trying. However, poor Ben doesn’t seem to be quite up to speed. Husband asks if they happen to serve beer. He proceeds to tell us that no they don’t and if they did he wouldn’t work there. We let that sit and didn’t even want to ask why. After we get the order all taken care of, which took much longer than it should have, and are waiting for our food we strike up conversation with Ben. He informs us in his really slow way of speaking that his name is Benjamin (cause the daughter just had to ask) but his friends call him Ben, Cocoa Puff or my now favorite name ever, Ben Jam In. Ben is now my most favorite waiter in history and I will never meet another person named Ben and not think Ben Jam In. With many giggles and chatter we have a nice dinner.
Day 4 – No issues with the exception of my shedding some tears to leave my beloved horse behind. All on schedule and according to plan.
Day 5 – We say our goodbyes to daughter and friend, load our 2 horses and head towards, the Grand Mesa National Forest to camp and ride. We make the big pull over the mountains and coming down a 7% grade the truck makes a noise so awful I totally expected to see parts strewn about the road behind us.
I believe I may have said a few choice words at this moment with an exclamation of WTF, are you kidding me right now. This is not part of my plan whatsoever. After the awful noises we realize we have no gears (it’s a manual transmission) and are now coasting down a 7 % grade. Luckily we have brakes and exhaust brake (for those of you who pull a trailer, invest in an exhaust brake). Okay, now sitting along side the highway pointing down we take a few seconds of stunned silence to assess the situation. Walk around truck and trailer, completely surprised to not see pars scattered everywhere. Scratch our heads, say humph a few times and wonder why we can see nothing obvious. Get back in truck, starts and goes fine but we know it’s not fine and we need to find a place to take a closer look at it. We limp into a small mountain town (the most expensive and inconvenient place to break down I’m told) and find a service station that we can take a closer look. Of course there’s not enough room to park a horse trailer and horses there so we limp on down the road a few blocks to a wide spot, drop the trailer (removing horses) and take truck back to station. Not wanting to leave my horses unattended tied to the trailer on the side of road I grab a lawn chair and sit there looking like some middle aged buckle bunny hoping for a miracle while staring back just as inquisitive at the people starting at me as they go by. We’ve determined at this point that the transfer case (that I just had serviced) is in bad shape. So, now begin my calls to the shop who did the work to get the truck road ready asking just WTH did they do and how do they suppose they’re going to fix this mess???? I’m sure the looks on my face were priceless and I’m glad there was no cameras around. While trying to maintain my crumbling composure I learn the truck will not be driving on its own accord from this point. Ok, says I, I guess I need a tow. We also determine through countless calls to different dealers the best place to take my truck is 150 miles away. Oh wait, I have horses, a trailer, 4 dogs and a truck that need a tow. Swell. I call the roadside assistance for horse people (like AAA for horse traveling) and tell them my plight. This is all at least 2 hours after we limped into the tiny town. They get right on finding me two separate tow companies for the truck and trailer. A man named Rudy, who apparently has no ideas his Levi’s are not buttoned, shows up to get the trailer. Upon his arrival I must have looked like I was in a state of disbelief. His truck is old and beat up but runs which is more than I can say for mine at this moment. He has to uncover all the junk in the bed of his truck to find the gooseneck ball, this is not instilling a great amount of confidence in me. He has trouble backing up to and hooking up the trailer so my husband takes over from there. There is another guy on his way for the truck. After seeing the condition of the truck taking the trailer and horses and dogs I opt to stay with the pickup and wait for that tow truck. Hubs ends up driving the horses the entire 150 miles in the tow truck that he learns has no 3rd gear so he’s shifting from 2nd to 4th and back again. I feel better with him towing the horses than I would have if Rudy had driven. I watch them go still in a bit of a state of worry and stress. The tow truck shows up for the pickup. Seems like a nice guy whose name is Billy but I never knew this until I just now when looked at the receipt. I’m still in a bit of shock mode especially after being told it’s 750 to tow the pickup and 350 to tow the horse trailer. It’s only money right? At this point I have no choice I just want off the damn mountain and a safe place to park my animals. So, I hop in the tow truck with Rudy and off we go. Rudy is a nice guy who never stops talking, ever. I really mean ever. As I’m texting people of my plight and working on details of where I’m going to put my horses that night he proceeds to ask me why I’m on the phone so much….really Rudy?? Really??? You’re going to give me a hard time about not paying attention to you when you’ve just told me I’m paying 750 for the privilege of riding with you for 3 hours in a damn tow truck?? I determine I’m doomed but then I discover he has 80’s music on his ipod. Maybe there is a God I think since I love 80’s music. But then Billy starts to sing a long all the while asking me all kinds of inane questions about nothing I want to talk about. I’m starting to think this would make an awesome episode of Pranked. There just had to be cameras in this truck right? Along the way Billy informs me that he’s going to drop me the next off ramp at the Kum N Go (yes, it’s really called Kum N Go, WTH) while he attends to someone who’s locked their keys in their car. He’ll be right back to get me he says. Whatever I say, leave me at the Kum N Go in God knows where, take my dead pickup and leave. Is this really happening? True to his word Billy comes back and gets me. In a way it was a good thing as it gave me time to dine on the fine food out of the Kum N Go hot case and it probably saved Billy’s life that I didn’t go hungry. Back on the road and my calls taken care of, Billy and I start talking about our dogs. We each have a few dogs and we tell stories of the antics our dogs have done over the years. This isn’t so bad I’m thinking, maybe I’ll make it to the repair shop after all. Then Billy starts to tell me how one of his dogs used to chew on his underwear when it was a puppy. Funny I think to myself unprepared for what came out of his mouth next. He proceeds to tell me that he didn’t know the dog chewed on his underwear til one day as he was walking along his left nut fell out. Yes, these are his words. Thinking great I’m stuck in a truck with a dude who’s going to tell me about his left nut. Do I really need this at this point? I sigh and think that’s it, this really is an episode of Pranked. Where is the damn camera? Moving on with our conversation he then tells me a story about how he ended up in a gentlemen’s club one night and boy was his wife mad. Really? Your wife was mad? Hard to believe I think as I’m starting to watch the road signs for how much farther. The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful and we got the pickup dropped off at the dealer. He’s nice enough to take me to the fairgrounds where hubby and the horses and dogs are hopefully finding accommodations. I’m in luck and as we pull in I see the horse trailer being parked. I take a breath of relief but I’m sure I still had a dazed look on my face. The fairgrounds people are very nice, show us where horses can stay and where we can park the trailer. I’m thankful there’s a place for the horses. Turns out Billy and Rudy know each other and I’m not even a bit surprised to see Rudy putting his truck onto Billy’s bigger tow truck and head off down the road together. Probably going to a gentlemen’s club with his left nut falling out I think to myself. So, here are. Staying in the trailer for the night with no transportation. Of course, I no longer have the trailer with AC and it’s 98 degrees. Our attempt at sleep that night proved pointless.
Day 6 – Start off trying to be thankful we had a place to put the horses, etc. Even more thankful when we discover the fairgrounds has showers. You never realize the luxury of a shower until you have a day and night like that. Get a hold the dealer where my dead pickup is and start a plan of action. They are super nice and send their shuttle driver over to pick us up. The driver is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and after hearing our plight offered her home to us and yard for our dogs. What an exceptionally nice thing to do. I thank her profusely and take her number just in case. Upon arrival at dealership they bend over backwards to try and help us. There is not one rental car to be had in town and they manage to find a loaner car for us to use while we’re there. They can’t look at my pickup until the next day so we’re now stuck but at least our horses, selves and dogs are safe. We kill the day by driving to the area where we originally had planned on camping and riding the horses. It was a beautiful area. Staying in the trailer again is not even an option for me so we find a hotel to try for a decent night sleep.
Day 7 – Hanging out trying to communicate with dealer who serviced my pickup and the dealer where the pick up now is. We bum around town most of the day. We’ve now talked with the people at the fairgrounds and learn that where our trailer is parked is in the way of the upcoming carnival fairway for their local fair that starts in a few days.
Being told we need to move the trailer we just stare as we have no pickup and I highly doubt the loaner car (Dodge Dart) is going to move it. They offer to move it and for us luckily. That night Scott dreams we wake up in the trailer and we are in the middle of the carnival like an exhibit that people look at as they go by. We get info that the pickup isn’t going to be an easy quick fix as we had hoped. We are now starting to worry about getting home in time for work, etc. We also learn that the parts the pickup needs are not easy to find and it looks like we might as well just find a house and move in. We have people offer to come get us which is greatly appreciated but we are getting anxious to just get going and maybe salvage some of the trip and ride in some other places we had planned to along the way. Hey….since we’re at a dealership let’s take a look if they have any used pickups that we could buy to get us home. Of course, salesmen being salesmen they assure they can fix us right up. We look at a few pickups and find one that will work (or so we think). Salesmen work with us and we come to agreement. We aren’t ready to just sign away so they offer to let us drive it around that afternoon and see what we think. Great, we think that’ll give us time to really drive it and check it out. We even think we’re being smart (why do we keep thinking this?) and have an independent mechanic take a look at it. Runs and looks good he says. Runs and looks good to us as we’ve owned pickups forever and think we know what to check out. We’re thorough, we check the Carfax report, we find the original paperwork see it was a one owner pickup with all service records. What a cream puff we think so we sign away and take it to get the proper hitch put in to pull our horse trailer. Hubby ends up doing yoga and other acrobatics helping get the hitch installed. The same hitch the place said would take 10 mins at the most. At this point I don’t know why I’m believing anything is going to be easy. The shop stays late for us to get the hitch in. Of course it’s a Friday and no one is open the next day so it has to be done now. So, 40 mins and a lot of sweating and swearing later we have the hitch. Yay…I’m almost feeling a bit relief but I should know that it was going to be short lived. We head back to fairgrounds only to see the carnival is moving in and we are now neighbors to a mobile curly fries truck. I take a moment and just enjoy that because it seems appropriate for some reason.
Day 8 – Yay…we’re on the road….sweet….we make it Bryce Canyon in Utah which was one of the places we really wanted to ride. We joke about how we hope the ride is worth the cost of the new old truck. We find a place to stay which turns out to be a resort style tourist place full of summer tourists, mostly foreigners. Planning ahead like the smart person I am (there I go again with the smart thing) I know the horses can stay at the local rodeo grounds. We find that and while it’s a little hokey, it’s a safe place for them to be. We drop them and trailer and head over the hotel/resort. I feel like I’ve been transplanted into a Chevy Chase vacation movie. Tourists everywhere and I can’t understand anything any of them are saying. I’m starting to wonder if I’m even still in America at this point. Eat at the resort enjoying a buffet (who doesn’t like a good buffet) while trying to figure out what languages are being spoken around us. Excited to get up early and ride Bryce Canyon the next morning we go to bed early. We even luck out and get a room right by a pond for the dogs to play in and for the mosquitoes to live so they can feast on people dumb enough to let their dogs play in the pond.
Day 9 – Off to Bryce. After some questions of where exactly we needed to park the horse trailer, we are off and a glorious ride it is. Still deciding if it was worth the price of the pickup but it’s amazing. Done with ride we head to what we think will be the last night on the road with plans to overnight in Idaho. So….it’s a busy Sunday morning in the resort town and we stop for snacks for the drive. We get back in new old pickup to discover we now have no power steering or brakes. I believe I just had a completely blank look on may face and sighed. Really, what could I expect, to actually get to drive home? We see a mechanic across the very busy street and while it’s closed we take a chance and limp over with flashers on hoping people aren’t dumb enough to get in front of us. Held my breath and we made it across. We found another nice guy who just happened to be in the shop for a little bit and had the belt in stock and offered to help us install. He didn’t charge us labor for his time, just for the part. He now has a thank you note with a token of our appreciation and a note to his manager in the mail. Ok….back on the road. I have zero expectation at this point of anything, good or bad. We cruise along for few hours like happy little campers when low and behold, and are you really surprised, the truck sputters and dies. Yep…the new old truck with a clean inspection by dealer and independent mechanic died on the side of the highway. I really do have nothing to say at this time, only racking my brain wondering what I did to deserve this. I really have been on good behavior and have tried to be a nice person. I’m thinking it’s because I’ve told the hotels I had one dog instead of 4. That’s it, my trying to sneak in extra dogs is the culprit. We limp along (we’re getting quite good at this limping on the side of the highway thing) and land in a town called Fillmore, Utah. Of course, it’s Sunday so will there be anyone around who can help us? We find a little gas station with a mechanics bay whose doors are open. Yes, we think, someone who might help. Turns out the young kid in there had no idea about anything other than how to open the bay door. Walk over to another gas station with a little store. They know just who to call and in a matter of minutes a mobile mechanic shows up in a 1979 green Mustang with oversize rear tires and loud. I am in Chevy Chase movie, I’m sure of it now. We suspected the throttle position sensor (for those of you unaware, there is such a thing as a sensor that tells the motor when you’re pressing on the throttle and it needs to send fuel to the motor. I know this because I’ve dealt with it before. Older cars are much simpler, think I’ll get an old truck at this point). He believes as we do but lets us know that his shop won’t be open until tomorrow (Monday). Meanwhile I’ve been on the phone frantically searching for yet another fairgrounds to put the horses. As luck would have it, is it really luck at all, the nice little town of Fillmore has a fairgrounds with horse stalls. Nice mechanic tells us how to get there and we’re only a few miles away. Yet again setting off in limp mode we make our way to the fairgrounds, get the horses settled in, trailer dropped, etc. The truck can limp along at a top speed of about 20 so we go through town at the warp speed of 20 and find a hotel with instructions to be at the service shop in the morning. Where else would we be going?
Day 10 – Find hotel and get dinner. I’m pretty sure the hostess is related to Ben Jam In. Next morning up and early moving along at our warping 20 mph we make it to the shop where we encounter more nice people. Yep…low and behold the throttle position sensor is bad. Also, the batteries are bad so new batteries are installed and a TPS is ordered. Won’t be there til the next morning. At this point I have been on the phone with dealer we purchased truck from letting them know that it’d be nice that if they check off belts and batteries as being good on their inspection that maybe they should actually LOOK at them. So, here we are in Fillmore, UT with a day and night to kill. With nothing else pressing on our schedule we decide to ride our horses and had a very pleasant ride, a small salvation to another day filled with disbelief and exasperation.
Day 11 – Who Hoo….truck fixed and runs like a champ. Still apprehensive as I load up trailer and horses not ready to believe that we might actually get home. Yep…the one thing I refused to say out loud during the whole trip happened, blew a tire on the horse trailer. Not even remotely surprised we go about changing tire. Luckily or not luckily we are well versed in tire changing and in had a new tire on and going in 7 minutes. Ok…..holding my breath we go again. Thinking I now have no spare tire for the trailer I better be smart (again) and stop at first tire shop I see and get the blown tire replaced. On the road an hour or so into going there is some trash blowing around on the freeway, low and behold a white napkin gets stuck under our windshield wiper, almost like a surrender flag. We leave it there for several hours afraid to remove it.
We travel several hours of no issues…almost ready to breathe. Know we are getting low on fuel so plan on hitting next station which is just 20 miles away when we hit completely stopped traffic on the highway. So, here we sit in Idaho on the highway going nowhere and I’m running through the scenarios of how we idle for so many hours we run out of fuel entirely because why not? Traffic starts slowly rolling and as we go by the completely burned out nice motor home I tell myself to be thankful that’s not us and I feel for the poor people whose motor home it was, I think their day was worse than ours.
Day 12 – It’s after midnight so it’s technically day 12. Still rolling along after playing the alphabet game so many times I don’t even know the alphabet anymore. 1am, home! OMG…are we really home, I’m not convinced.
So here I sit a few days later still not convinced. I’ve dared to venture out only for necessities like food. The pickup I started with is still in 5 states away waiting for the two shops to coordinate the repairs. Not sure when I’ll see my truck again. The dealer who did the initial service is responsible for the repairs. I won’t bore you with what broke, how and why it’s so damn difficult to find the replacement part. New old truck is sitting happily in my driveway while I decide its fate. For now I need a truck so it stays but it better remain on good behavior!
One thing I take away from this trip is how many nice and odd people we met along the way. Restored my faith in humans, or most of them. While things could have been so much worse it was a huge lesson in character building and being grateful for little things like places to keep our horses, etc. However, my usual zest for road trips is somewhat dimmed. And to think it all started with “Daddy can you bring me a horse”.
Addendum:
A couple weeks after we got home we decided to go to a local horse show that’s close by. On the way home as I’m following the hubby and horse trailer in my car I watch in amazement as one of the wheels flies off the horse trailer and flies through the air over the telephone lines and lands in a yard. I was just sure the wheel and tire would hit a house or something. My husband is unaware of this and of course his cell phone is dead so I can’t call and tell him to stop. I stop to pick up the wheel and tire. The entire assembly came off the trailer and there is no way I can pick this up by myself so I wait in the middle of the road with my flashers on hoping someone will stop and help me. We live in a rural area so it didn’t take long for a farmer to come by and help me lift the wheel and tire. I get home and ask the hubby if he noticed anything. He didn’t so I pointed to the side of the trailer where two wheels and tires should be and now there’s only one. So, the axle itself broke. Not something simple or fairly inexpensive to fix, the entire axle has to be replaced and it’s not cheap. What a fitting way to cap off the last few weeks. I sold the new old truck a month later after I got my truck home.
Horseshoes and Hormones 
Thanks Sis. I needed that. I love you Sis.
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